Feb 5

Written by: Julie Arduini
2/5/2010 11:00 PM 

 

I'm hitting two memes with one stone, ha ha!

Trust me, I had the perfect post for Pursuing Love over at Marsha's Musings.  It was on patience.  I set to publish, and notice today I have a comment from Marsha wondering how to find the post.  Well, it disappeared.  Don't as me how, I don't know.  He gave me such a visual I know I'm meant to share it, so I'm re writing and also using it as my Character Confession.

As far as patience goes, I'm most impatient with myself.  As Marsha mentions in her post, so many of us have walls around our heart and I am one of those.  I joke that I'm a fan of Superman to the nth degree and apparently I take it literally.  I don't mean to but if I fear getting hurt, I send them to another zone.  It probably is the arctic chamber Clark Kent receives all his instruction from his biological days.

But as far as those fears and being impatient about it, God showed me another picture.

It went like this...

Earlier this week our Lhasas got in trouble, which is so rare.  My husband suggested we let them live free within the house when we are gone.  I wasn't so sure about a life without boundaries, and in time, they let loose.  I came home to a downstairs filled with garbage everywhere.  Everywhere.  It was so bad I videotaped it and sent it to my husband with the subject line "RIP Pepper and Bonita".

Of course I was being dramatic but I was so mad at them for making the mess and the t hought of them not being crated when we leave made me anxious.  I didn't want to deal with the situation.  So, I threw a mini blanket over the crates.  A kind of I can't see you so this doesn't exist.

God showed me that's my approach to life.  For years it's just been easier to dispatch my husband to the Kal-El arctic zone of instruction or the let's throw a blanket over the crate of marriage.  I fear rejection and I dislike confrontation.  So this impatient fearful heart avoided it.

I'm currently in a place where it took rejection to make me, force me to take the blanket off the crate.  Nothing scandalous mind you, just God whispering to me that it was time to deal with the fears.

Now that we're dealing with them, I'm impatient.  I want to be perfect at t his marriage thing, yesterday.

I find the really awesome things of life are worth waiting for and busting your hump over.  I want a consistent marriage of oneness.  To get there, I've got to bring my man back from the Arctic zone and take the blanket off the crate.